Project I :: { Happiness Potion: Friends & Trips }

It’s 22^nd Dec’13 and I am just counting days to my upcoming trip to Hong Kong and maybe Macau.

3 Days to go!

Countdown has begun and I can’t be any more excited. This particular break has come about at a much needed time when my brain is just this close to go all bonkers with everything around.

Because of this trip, I will be missing a very dear friend’s wedding. I am not a wee bit happy about it, but my tickets are non-refundable (silly excuse, I know!). She was my roommate in first year of college, and then I moved to Mumbai and later to the US. She also moved to the States but to some different corner about which I had no idea about. What amazes me is that she is still studying; she did her masters and now perusing PHD which will be complete in 2018. Amazing right? MBA is on my agenda for a good long time now, but I believe NIFT has spoiled me a little too much to ever study or pickup books again.

Within a few days she will married, married and gone to the US. Like some old aunt in the family, I am too sad and but also so happy for her, both at the same time. I wish her well and may the couple spend years and miles together with tons of smiles and laughter.  

On an unrelated note: Last week I got a sample of Dove cream beauty bars in a white pouch. It had a letter asking the reader to spend a day with a friend over gossip and fun. It couldn’t have come around on any better time.  I never usually endorse or write about brands (haven’t done it so far), but this note has something special about it or maybe it came at the perfect time.

Around 6.00 pm I got a call from her, confirming that she is home after a backbreaking day of the wedding shopping. Just made a visit to her place and swear you me, it was one hell of a crazy evening. Stupid hilarious, yet infectious laughs over how I used to hatch hot pot of water with Maggie in a quilt thinking it will cook the same way eggs get hatched under the hens butt. Went mad laughing about how she would convince me that I should ration the visits of other hostel girls who visit every 5 minutes as she needs to mug up her course material, the way we would gossip, bitch and mimic other hostel girls, how I would spell 4 of French as quatre with an accent e, the pretty eyes chica, the breezers, the Mishti Doi breaks @5.00 pm and much more of the hilarious nonsensical anecdotes.

I was the pin point of almost all the jokes cracked today evening. Apparently, I haven’t changed wee bit as per aunty and Ipsi but I am not fully convinced. I think I am a little smarter, less naïve, same ol’big mouth and most important I now resemble a bloated balloon. I should however, make an effort to believe their words as old friends do tell the truth. Don’t they?

As the Dove note asked of me, I did make a visit to this amazing old friend of mine (we met after 10 years) and were like a house on fire the way we used to be 10 years back. Man! It felt like yesterday, in fact it felt like TODAY. Somethings don’t age and when they do, they transform into such beautiful relationships without any pretenses, ego or tussles. They transform into beautiful, honest, hilarious and warm pieces of fuzz, enough to keep you cozy for another next 10 years.

But that’s no excuse for us to stay away for another 10 years. I hope to see you much before that. I hope you are listening Girl!

Mucho Love and luck to you!

-Rakshita

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Project I :: { Random Acts of Kindness }

It’s a Voting day today here in Delhi. I hope all you Delhi people got your pretty bums to the voting booths to vote for a better city. I wish I were able to vote for the government in Delhi, was actually all set with my pick of the political party and then I realized I don’t have voter’s card to vote in Delhi’s elections. I hail from UP and now work in Haryana so my great idea to vote for the city elections turned into such a Boo! Boo!

Anyhow! Please do vote if you want your rights. As Sarthak of 95 FM said today, go out and flex those voting muscles.

4^th December’13 | Listening to Dido’s White Flag 

After my much dejected last post (you can read it here) about how we are ruining this world with almost all our actions, I heard an announcement about something rather pleasant on @94.3 Radio One – Celebrate ‘Being Human’ day or similar name day (please pardon my messed up memory)on 11/12/13.

It asked listeners to share their random acts of kindness with the others listeners. I felt good because if nothing more, it’s an effort where we recognize how others and we have been kind to the world. It felt different as kindness is not a regular or popular topic of the discussions of my civilized, posh and corporate world. It’s not something we talk about a lot these days and even if we do, it’s in the lookalikes of Page3 parities where we would be flaunting thousands worth of bags, while our maids would be earning just a couple of thousands for the entire month for keeping the house clean. It’s rather a sadistic irony considering that how we all are aware of it and yet play a big part of the situation!

Steering back to the topic: Kindness! When was the last time you were kind? An hour back? This morning? Yesterday? In my head kindness no longer stays a habit or practice among us. I mean, if it was a habit or a ritual, why would there be an entire show on it? Do we have radio or television shows on “Hey, how did you brush your teeth this morning” or “Hey, tell us how warm or cold the water was in the shower today” We don’t!

So it was a pleasant reminder that asks us, the listeners to probe and jolt our memory about when was the last we were kind.

A single act of goodness can have a strong lifelong influence on people’s life. Salman’s latest interview on Karan’s show is a great example where he talks about how he was so strongly influenced by the people who did right by him in whatever small gestures they did. It’s interesting to listen to such a small yet warm anecdote which left him influenced and kind that he is known for, among his fans and film fraternity.

To cut the long story short, ‘kindness’ not only has the power to influence, but gives the person being kind, a sense of fulfilment and satiation. It’s the feeling that many of us seem to be going crazy looking for. So here! The answer is: Be Kind! And tell the world (maybe!)

What is my latest Random Act of Kindness?  

I will tell you but then I will need to kill you. And I am not a killer! 

Well! I am also planning something for poor this winter but shall not talk about it unless it’s done. On that note, I will leave you to decide your “Random Act of Goodness”. How are you planning to bring warmth in somebody's life this winter? 

Note: If kindness is too much of an effort, try gratitude. It’s easier, simpler, leaves the other person wanting to do more for you (well! in most cases) and is the first step before you actually start doing something for others.

Read and listen: What is it that makes someone stop and help a stranger in need? WBUR is exploring that question in a radio series, Kind World, featuring stories of kindness and the profound effect that one act can have on a person’s life. http://www.wbur.org/kindworld/2013/11/26/when-the-parachute-failed-a-true-sacrifice

Until Later,

Rakshita

Project I :: Rants

As I sit to write something deep and meaningful, I am left clueless about what do I want to write about today?

Should I write about career, my new house that’s under construction, about work life balance or something else? All I know is, I shall refrain from writing anything about travel until I do actually travel or have something really appealing to say about it.

Mom is talking and making fun of me and my cold while I sit with her in the bright sunny room ideal for getting requisite dose of Vitamin D during winters. Bon-Bon lie sleeping next to my bed as I eat freshly pealed roasted peanuts.

It’s been a good day so far; sun is shining bring outside and I am already done with some of the important errands I had to do today. I got bank stuff sorted out this morning, filled in couple of queries for aluminum glass windows for our new home, figured out the Chinese Visa documents, had a plate full of fruits, drank warm water and hot tea, played and ran a lot with Bon-Bon.

BTW, Bon-Bon has become daddy recently. Below are a few pictures of the babies. Before these tiny things were born, we assumed them to be the kids of Peaches and Scruffy. But, we stand so surprised after seeing the striking resemblance with Bon-Bon. I am a happy and proud Granny. :D  

On an unrelated note, I am seeing lot of traction on my Twitter handle in addition to my bloggers’ profile. On a closer look, I see lot of vague (I am guessing fake) profiles of people following me. It might be something to do with my posts or somebody bought me all these followers. Whatever is the case, there is a definite increase in the number of genuine travel enthusiasts + influencers who are now following me on twitter and I am quite happy about that.

So again, what should I write about today? Nothing!

I am taking Bon-Bon out for a walk now and then maybe visit my cousin and Massi before I plan something eventful for evening. 

Untill Later!

- Rakshita

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Project I :: Thanks to him, I am a drug addict!

Title is so, because I couldn’t think of anything better without making it sound cheesy.

It’s 2.33 am, 3rd Nov 2013. I am listening to Geri Halliwell - It's Raining Men. Not liking the rushed and hurried feeling it’s giving me with its pacey beats.

I got engaged yesterday, actually, day before yesterday, on 1/11. What a fab number to get hooked, hitched, knotted or whatever on.  

It wasn’t a very special day. I mean, it was all special for its occasion, its grandeur, with all my loved and the most important people in it. But there wasn’t anything particularly distinctive about it. It could have been any other day of the year or any other year, at any other festival, function or wedding, with the same people and I would have dressed up the same or maybe a little different and I would have been fine with it.

I am in absolute love with the date though.

1/11 didn’t lack any of the awesomeness the engagements days are supposed to hold. Maybe because it wasn’t “that” particular day (don’t remember, exactly which one) when I fell in love (don’t really know, but I think love is the rightful word for the feeling) with him, it simply felt like just another chapter to our story. I am not one big gooey, lovey and mushy kinds but I do want all the romance. Admittedly, I am one of the confused, hard to read or understand female lot.

So what’s the special day then?

The day when I sat next to him crying over some work politics and he said nothing, the day when he laughed out loud when I called out my boss a “dog” (it was my boss’s Chinese sunsign), the days when we didn’t care about the entire freaking world and made fun of it like was no body’s business, the days when he stood by my side, enrolled himself with me and then took self-forced classes for French and then GMAT, the day he first cooked for me, the day when he got me my first designer cake and my first LV bag, the day when he learnt driving to take me out, the days when he looks at me and reads me like an open book, the days when he is a bigger spendthrift than I am, the days when he tells my mom the exact reason (without any prior knowledge of it) of what’s upsetting me, all those days when he manages to irritate me to the core and make me laugh, both at the same time, the days when he books a couple air tickets to the fanciest of travel destinations, the days (almost all of them) when he loves me for all that I am; little sane and mucho INSANE. 

All these days are special, special because I remember them, very special because I cherish them and super extra special because they have you in them. I couldn’t have found a better “my kind of crazy” than you. You are perfect for me. Pinch me all you want for this is my reality and you are my drug that has gotten me addicted to life.

(To anyone like me reading this blog: I am allowed to be all cheesy today and tomorrow and maybe dayafter) 

Quick note: All those trips wouldn’t have been even half bit fun without you!

Quicker note: I still have more international Visa Stamps on my passport than you :p And I do intend to maintain this position by going with you, everywhere you go… HAHA!

P.S: even with lesser Visa stamps, I love you. :*

Maldives Sep'13  - Ashish and Rakshita 

To many and many more couple shots, holiday tan and fat and all savings spent on travel. 

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Project I :: { The Third Person }

Many a times I feel it’s not me in the mirror. Have you ever got this feeling? I think it’s great that I am in a position to look at myself from a different point of view apart from my own. I know (or I think I know) what my actions, my words, my expressions look like. Spooky! 

23^nd Oct’13, it’s already midnight 12.52 am and I’ve just stepped out of a wonderful hot shower after a long drive…

It's now that I’ve realized that I don’t like to mince words anymore. I either speak or shut the hell up completely. I would initially think almost about a billion times (at a speed of light) before uttering a word or putting anything up on a public platform. I was worried about “what would people think of me” or “in what light will I be seen by my classmates or colleagues etc.”. Maybe, I was not in a comfortable state of mind that I am in now;  maybe I just cared way too much about everything; maybe I wasn’t sure if I will be accepted; maybe I didn’t know that it’s just me who has to accept me.

Now I stand outside my body, looking at me as a third person. 

Though I come across as a confident (maybe overconfident for some) every time I step outside my door, but I’ve had my share of identity crisis, the times when I was not comfortable in my own skin. It might be the age factor (late 20s do bring their magic in calming you down) or witnessing too much of good and bad of life in a short span of time or just taking lessons from my own mistakes, whatever else it might be, I don’t see myself in the same light as I used you until almost couple of years back. I am not as possessive about me as I was 5 years back and I try to not take myself seriously the way I used to maybe a decade back.

Blah! Blah!

Blah! Blah! Blah! Blah!

Are you still with me? You have all my love but seriously! Do better things than reading these rants of yet another blogger born out of nowhere.

Explore the world, start with your neighborhood.  Travel! If you don’t have a company, go alone.

Party and look at people! All kinds! It’s actually a lot of fun.

Laugh! Goof around! Be silly! Not everyone can be silly and it takes some special awesomeness to be insane.

And most important: treat yourself as third person and this world wouldn’t be such a burden.

Still reading? Well! Then I have an obligation to continue.

As I said before, in my previous blog post, “I” is important and needs to be given the first, but not all 

the attention. I try to look at myself as someone who either loves me or hates me. It’s an interesting exercise, just because it lets you understand the wrong in you and the right in others.

Not that, I bother to change much per others expectations (remember: you can’t make the entire world like or appreciate you), but it does help in getting a better perspective of me as a person and ease whatever bitterness, malice and maybe even jealousy looking to crop in the head.

World is an all Happy Place, you just got to change your perspective! It’s an easier thing to say, than to practice, especially when you are so scared that you decide not to share your thoughts, feelings and shy away from sharing your struggles at the risk of being judged at the hands of many and the unknown audience.

Like most others, I’ve too had my fair share of bad times. From family and personal losses, to witnessing good amount of criticism/ sarcasm (or maybe I was a tad bit extra sensitive) at every step of the way, I’ve gone through it all. Among all that, what hurts just a bit more is the statement like “I don’t consider you a competition”. You are forced to think and believe that you are not worthy enough and the person saying it is too good to even consider your presence. However, what you fail to understand is the fact that very same person might just simply be insecure or even jealous to acknowledge your existence.

I Accept: I am no saint but I am no liar either, so I don’t mind admitting that I do get a tad bit of sadistic pleasure when I see the person, who once didn’t consider me worthy her stature, still trying to figure out life in some corner of the developed world. Karma has its ways to make good with you and you got to enjoy the spectacle without trying to be a part of the deeds drama.

Feeling scared is easy; to not speak up is the easiest but waking up with a bunch of regrets is the toughest thing to go through. It’s when you risk everything, it’s then you stand nothing to lose and nothing can match that sans burden BLISS. After all, a homeless can only be this poor, what worse can happen to his home? What assists in having zero regrets is a promise to not treat you as ‘you’, but as a third person. To enjoy that extra freedom, you ought to be little less careful with ‘you’.

I am not suggesting to practice selflessness and I am not at all saying that it will get you a bunch of lifelong or hip friends to party with or will ease your zits or will make your daily job better; all it will do is, let you rise above the meager materialism and will get you extra serendipitous moments of happiness. You will be in a better place to admire yourself in the mirror (without obsessing about you) and amuse yourself with your antics and relish the offerings of the world and love of its people without feeling judged at every step of the way.

Being a Third Person in your own existence is ‘The Supreme Power’ that renders you fearless. I have met a very few ‘The Third Person’ powered people in my life. Did you get to practice the power yet? 

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The Super Hot! - Salt and Pepper of it!

I feel fat... Happy! Yet a bit fat! Thanks to all the love, unlimited supply of macaroons, sheer indulgence on the past trips and absolutely ‘0’ workout, I have gained 8 freaking kgs over the past year.

And now I am on a quest to loose few kgs. Needless to say that like many new fitness freaks, I too have resorted to treadmill for rescue and am trying to eat healthy (sans oil and other fatty acids) whenever possible. So if not the meals during the day, it’s the meal at the dinner time that helps me balance out those extra calories. I tend not to skip dinner, as I am not a big fan of midnight hunger pangs. However, what I do try is to avoid any form of carbs such as breads, roti, pasta etc. I am no expert on what to and not to eat, so I will shut-up right here.

I splurged and indulged in the hearty buffet last evening and skipped my workout today morning, so now I am here, trying to balance out all those extra calories by this huge bowl of Greens with Apples and Lemons.

Fact: You tend to become a self-proclaimed expert of cooking with leftovers or a very few ingredients, when you are staying alone.

So here is my dinner for today: Assorted Salt and Pepper vegies with “An Apple”, a simple, throw-in the pan mix of whatever greens I could find in my refrigerator. 

A dash of olive oil, hot enough to char the veggies and a pinch of Salt and Black Pepper to taste. (I wonder what I will do without black pepper in my life). Apple has gone a bit soft and gooey; it will stay crisp if added towards the end but I prefer it cooked as it lends a sweet tang to the other veggies (green beans, bell pepper aka capsicum, and tomatoes). I don’t know how tempting it looks to you guys, but it tastes absolutely delightful to me.

Added bonus: I can finish the entire bowl and not feel guilty about it one bit and it’s cooked in just 10 minutes.

Add a dash of lemon and Voila! The dinner is served! 

P.S: It's absolutely safe to try this at home. :) Let me know how did your veggie mix turned out. 

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Project I :: {On an Introspecting Trip}

They say, don’t use “I”, they ask me to get away from it. Do hell with all of you! My world does begin with an “I”.

“I” :: Possibly the simplest word with most complex usage. It’s blamed for all the evil in the world but is rarely used to evaluate self-worth.

{Rant} Have you ever noticed that some of the best or stupid or risky ideas come at 2 – 4am in the morning? Considering, of course, you spent all the time before that sitting in front of the idiot box and just staring at one channel waiting to fall asleep? It’s 3.33 am (I didn’t make that up) on 5^th Oct’13. I reached home today (mum’s place) after a light Friday at work followed by a meeting with friend. The Mother is sleeping next to me while I lay on my tummy to write this on a Microsoft Word (which I actively started using a little over 10 years back in 2003) doc named Project I. Anyhow, back to the topic:

What are we talking about “I” and why is it important? I am going to keep it very contextual, philosophical and a little personal because it’s about “I”. Wake up people! 

During today’s midnight session of day dreaming, actually night dreaming with eyes wide open, I was thinking about all that I can do with life. Just like the life of many others (in the most clichéd way of saying) my life has been a roller coaster ride. And past for me, is something that doesn’t bring much good, except some brilliant insights to be carried forward, stability in the thought process (without discounting on the capability of erratic actions and random decisions), knowledge of the many ways to potentially screw up an entire life and a word of caution to avoid these in the coming future. The most important thing past teaches is, to fall, muster up all the courage, stand  and walk, walk tall with your head held just a little higher than before, with clear sight of the ground below.

I pity those, who haven’t fallen in life, as they never got a chance to rise higher than before.

{Rant} On an unrelated note: I hate the guys with soft hands; I mean what’s up with you people; go easy on moisturizer and go back to doing some heavy duty lifting.

Guilty as charged. I love “I”; I am a self-loving, self-obsessed narcissist who despite hyper critical nature comes across as a confident lady with a hint (maybe a little more) absurd yet brilliant sense of humor. There! Narcissism spotted right there. I would also like to admit that I am guilty of not wallowing in self-pity and self-loath. 

P.S: Loving yourself doesn't discount your love for others, it just adds to it. 

Why am I, the way I am?

I am a small town girl, born in the city called Moradabad to a business family. All say I’ve got my father’s genes with tons of ambition and entrepreneurial traits. Thanks to my genes (or no thanks), I looked and dreamt different when compared with my siblings. While all my cousins had brilliant and fair complexion, I was an Ugly Duckling with a pale complexion; while their dads took them out for vacations, my dad was busy minting money; while they dreamt of inheriting export businesses or getting married into stinking rich families who would load them with diamonds, I dreamt of starting my own company; while they dreamt of bearing babies, I dreamt of going to NIFT; while they were pretty young things, I was a persistent rebel. 

I was different and I am different.

Till early 20s, I was living in a livable, yet my world, in the world where dreams still had sparks. For 22 odd years, I believed I could fly (how stupid of me?), when suddenly, on one fine day I woke up to clipped wings; wings clipped from so deep within, that the pain went numb. I could no longer fly; overnight all my dreams were stamped invalid. Like a piece of raw leather, I was ripped apart from my soul, cut, torn, beaten, dried in the sun, and then polished for the world. I was in a fancier place; I was in US, but had no one to validate my “I”.

I lost myself, I was no longer I.

I was lost for almost 3 big years, when one fine day, a mystical power reminded me of what my soul looked like, reminded me of the values I believed in and stood for. I realized that I wasn’t happy and all I did was, make good with the world, I was conforming and I was trying to be something I was not. I was chasing worthlessness of empty emotions and society values that got me no good instead they took away everything including my identity, my sense of belongingness, my hope, my passion, my family and most important, they took away my wings. You talk about the moment of self-realization?

That was my moment of self-realization, I was away from “I” for way too long and I was miserable.

And that was the moment when I got my soul back, I came back home, I came back to my people, I came back to hugs, I came back to being allowed to make mistakes, to demand, to dream, to smile and to talk without thinking twice about every single word that came out of my mouth. I was now free to try and fly again, I came back home. It was probably the toughest decision ever and I was scared to the core as I had no belief left in me. But the only thing that gave me courage was knowledge that nothing could be any worse. The worst was over.  

Where do I stand now? I am fierce now and I got nothing to lose no more. On second thoughts, I am in a happy place now, I am content with what I have, place I belong to, friends I gossip with and the guy I am in love with and with whom I hope to make tons of babies (day dreaming again). Is this is what “Zen” is? It sure does sound like it.

To me the most basic tool of survival is “I”, there is no world without “I” and there is no happiness in the world if “I” am not happy.

“I” can’t feed the world outside (bon-bon, my dog is an exception) if “I” am hungry and I can’t join in your celebrations, if “I” am miserable.

You say “I” is bad, I say, “I” is the only way to be. No matter how hard I try to make sentences without “I” it just doesn’t happen. After all, conditioning grooms you a certain way. So when all my adorable, absolutely chilled out friends say that I use “I” a lot and am self-obsessed, I agree with you completely because I am an identity, an Ugly Duckling who stood apart because of certain chances and choices in life and embraces herself for all that she has turned to become.

So yes! My world does begin with an “I” but doesn’t necessarily end at it. 

*All pictures are used for demonstration purpose only and blogger doesn't claim any right on any of the used pictures. 
©2013 Rakshita Kapoor

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