Project I :: { The Third Person }

Many a times I feel it’s not me in the mirror. Have you ever got this feeling? I think it’s great that I am in a position to look at myself from a different point of view apart from my own. I know (or I think I know) what my actions, my words, my expressions look like. Spooky! 

23^nd Oct’13, it’s already midnight 12.52 am and I’ve just stepped out of a wonderful hot shower after a long drive…

It's now that I’ve realized that I don’t like to mince words anymore. I either speak or shut the hell up completely. I would initially think almost about a billion times (at a speed of light) before uttering a word or putting anything up on a public platform. I was worried about “what would people think of me” or “in what light will I be seen by my classmates or colleagues etc.”. Maybe, I was not in a comfortable state of mind that I am in now;  maybe I just cared way too much about everything; maybe I wasn’t sure if I will be accepted; maybe I didn’t know that it’s just me who has to accept me.

Now I stand outside my body, looking at me as a third person. 

Though I come across as a confident (maybe overconfident for some) every time I step outside my door, but I’ve had my share of identity crisis, the times when I was not comfortable in my own skin. It might be the age factor (late 20s do bring their magic in calming you down) or witnessing too much of good and bad of life in a short span of time or just taking lessons from my own mistakes, whatever else it might be, I don’t see myself in the same light as I used you until almost couple of years back. I am not as possessive about me as I was 5 years back and I try to not take myself seriously the way I used to maybe a decade back.

Blah! Blah!

Blah! Blah! Blah! Blah!

Are you still with me? You have all my love but seriously! Do better things than reading these rants of yet another blogger born out of nowhere.

Explore the world, start with your neighborhood.  Travel! If you don’t have a company, go alone.

Party and look at people! All kinds! It’s actually a lot of fun.

Laugh! Goof around! Be silly! Not everyone can be silly and it takes some special awesomeness to be insane.

And most important: treat yourself as third person and this world wouldn’t be such a burden.

Still reading? Well! Then I have an obligation to continue.

As I said before, in my previous blog post, “I” is important and needs to be given the first, but not all 

the attention. I try to look at myself as someone who either loves me or hates me. It’s an interesting exercise, just because it lets you understand the wrong in you and the right in others.

Not that, I bother to change much per others expectations (remember: you can’t make the entire world like or appreciate you), but it does help in getting a better perspective of me as a person and ease whatever bitterness, malice and maybe even jealousy looking to crop in the head.

World is an all Happy Place, you just got to change your perspective! It’s an easier thing to say, than to practice, especially when you are so scared that you decide not to share your thoughts, feelings and shy away from sharing your struggles at the risk of being judged at the hands of many and the unknown audience.

Like most others, I’ve too had my fair share of bad times. From family and personal losses, to witnessing good amount of criticism/ sarcasm (or maybe I was a tad bit extra sensitive) at every step of the way, I’ve gone through it all. Among all that, what hurts just a bit more is the statement like “I don’t consider you a competition”. You are forced to think and believe that you are not worthy enough and the person saying it is too good to even consider your presence. However, what you fail to understand is the fact that very same person might just simply be insecure or even jealous to acknowledge your existence.

I Accept: I am no saint but I am no liar either, so I don’t mind admitting that I do get a tad bit of sadistic pleasure when I see the person, who once didn’t consider me worthy her stature, still trying to figure out life in some corner of the developed world. Karma has its ways to make good with you and you got to enjoy the spectacle without trying to be a part of the deeds drama.

Feeling scared is easy; to not speak up is the easiest but waking up with a bunch of regrets is the toughest thing to go through. It’s when you risk everything, it’s then you stand nothing to lose and nothing can match that sans burden BLISS. After all, a homeless can only be this poor, what worse can happen to his home? What assists in having zero regrets is a promise to not treat you as ‘you’, but as a third person. To enjoy that extra freedom, you ought to be little less careful with ‘you’.

I am not suggesting to practice selflessness and I am not at all saying that it will get you a bunch of lifelong or hip friends to party with or will ease your zits or will make your daily job better; all it will do is, let you rise above the meager materialism and will get you extra serendipitous moments of happiness. You will be in a better place to admire yourself in the mirror (without obsessing about you) and amuse yourself with your antics and relish the offerings of the world and love of its people without feeling judged at every step of the way.

Being a Third Person in your own existence is ‘The Supreme Power’ that renders you fearless. I have met a very few ‘The Third Person’ powered people in my life. Did you get to practice the power yet? 

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The Super Hot! - Salt and Pepper of it!

I feel fat... Happy! Yet a bit fat! Thanks to all the love, unlimited supply of macaroons, sheer indulgence on the past trips and absolutely ‘0’ workout, I have gained 8 freaking kgs over the past year.

And now I am on a quest to loose few kgs. Needless to say that like many new fitness freaks, I too have resorted to treadmill for rescue and am trying to eat healthy (sans oil and other fatty acids) whenever possible. So if not the meals during the day, it’s the meal at the dinner time that helps me balance out those extra calories. I tend not to skip dinner, as I am not a big fan of midnight hunger pangs. However, what I do try is to avoid any form of carbs such as breads, roti, pasta etc. I am no expert on what to and not to eat, so I will shut-up right here.

I splurged and indulged in the hearty buffet last evening and skipped my workout today morning, so now I am here, trying to balance out all those extra calories by this huge bowl of Greens with Apples and Lemons.

Fact: You tend to become a self-proclaimed expert of cooking with leftovers or a very few ingredients, when you are staying alone.

So here is my dinner for today: Assorted Salt and Pepper vegies with “An Apple”, a simple, throw-in the pan mix of whatever greens I could find in my refrigerator. 

A dash of olive oil, hot enough to char the veggies and a pinch of Salt and Black Pepper to taste. (I wonder what I will do without black pepper in my life). Apple has gone a bit soft and gooey; it will stay crisp if added towards the end but I prefer it cooked as it lends a sweet tang to the other veggies (green beans, bell pepper aka capsicum, and tomatoes). I don’t know how tempting it looks to you guys, but it tastes absolutely delightful to me.

Added bonus: I can finish the entire bowl and not feel guilty about it one bit and it’s cooked in just 10 minutes.

Add a dash of lemon and Voila! The dinner is served! 

P.S: It's absolutely safe to try this at home. :) Let me know how did your veggie mix turned out. 

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{ My List of Top World Festivals in November }

I am so happy today! My Brother reached home this morning @5.30 am on17^th Oct’13. He is visiting from Germany after around 2 years. At around 5am, I woke up thinking that I am dreaming about his arrival. I am so happy right now that my words just can’t explain the excitement.

I was with him last year around same time for October fest in Germany; we later went road tripping all around Spain. Ah! What a wonderful trip it was. I should maybe write a post about it.

So the deal is, he is here and our happiness knows no bounds right now. These are the special times because we will be celebrating Diwali together after n number of years. What further adds mountains of excitement to our happiness is the wedding of our baby cousin. It’s going to be a fabulous festive couple of months that I am dearly looking forward to.

So this blog post is dedicated to Diwali, the most relished festival in my family, along with the other world festivals happening all around world. Some of the most amazing world festivals are lined up in November and December and I would be on top of the world, if only, I could visit these just once in my life with my entire family.

1. Diwali in November { Celebrated all across India }: My list cannot be complete and has to start with Diwali. Diwali is incomplete without family and some extremely dear friends. It’s just the cheer brought around by everyone’s presence that makes it so special. Diwali for me is all smiles, good food, great times and good luck. It’s this festival that makes me feel 'Oh SO FREAKING' blessed. I am not a big of a fan of crackers (for the concern for environment, child labor issues etc.), but the bright, colorful lights, Rangoli, diyas that I always end up buying in bulk, candles of all kinds, fat, tall, floral, floating and sweets (cartons of them, literally} get all my love on Diwali. To all who wish to and already do celebrate Diwali, I wish you a very Happy and Blessed Diwali!

Diwali, India

Image courtesy: Pinterest

India during Diwali

Image courtesy: Pinterest

2. Seoul and Chaing Mai lantern festival held in November { Chaing Mai, Thailand }: I really want to go for Chaing Mai lantern and flower festival this year. I do have all the right reasons to go for this trip, as one of my old friends is planning a trip along with his MBA classmates. A four day trip, I badly wish to go for, but just can’t because of the leaves constraint at my 10am – 7pm job which btw, will pay for my Dec’13 travel (so excited for it, already). Here are the pictures that show, just how beautiful the lantern festival in Chaing Mai is.

Cool Factor: People write their wishes on the fire lanterns and release them into the sky believing these will come true. I hope they do come true. J

Image courtesy: Pinterest

Lantern Festival, Chaing Mai, Thailand

3. Rann Utsav Kutch in November { Gujarat, India }: Everyone has heard of Pushkar Camel Festival held every year in November. I recently got to know about Rann Utsav that is held in the desert of Kutch, Gujarat around the same time. I was told that everything looks white in middle of the desert during this festival. But what won my heart, are the pictures (see below) with a full moon view. Rann Utsav is held admist a wild life sanctuary and stands for all that Gujarat is; the authentic Gujarati essence, Dandiya, the traditional Guajarati dance, camel safari, rich handicrafts, art and artifacts and Gujarati food esp. the Gujarati thali. It’s held in November in Kutch, you can check out more details here. If you’ve ever visited it, please do share your experience.  

Image courtesy: Pinterest

Rann Utsav Kutch in November, Gujarat, India 

4: Thanksgiving { New York, USA }: Not that I enjoy it a lot (in terms of celebration quotient), fire crackers are good, but doesn’t compare to the fireworks during Diwali in the city of Delhi. It’s the Thanksgiving sale that drives everyone including me, absolutely insane. It gets me drooling, drooling with my mouth wide open, with my jaw dropped so low that it touches the floor. Buy! Buy! Buy! For the entire family, for brothers, for sisters, for cousins, aunts, friends and everybody you can accommodate in your small pocket with meager income. I want as PS or X-Box this Thanksgiving, with tons of awesome games to go with it.

Apparently, Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade held in New York every year is quite a rage. I saw some of its pictures that left me impressed. Below, I have shared a collection of few vintage pictures of the parade with GIANT character shaped balloons that are paraded all around the New York City. 

Didn’t get a chance to visit New York during my 2 and a half year long stint in USA, so this particular parade goes to my, Must Visit Festivals list.

Image courtesy: Pinterest

Vintage Images of Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade 

5. Junkanoo, Nassau on December 26 & January 1 { Bahamas }: This list cannot be complete without a festival in the tropics.

Leaving all the celebrations in the chilling weather behind, let’s go to BAHAMAS baby! The visual of saturated colors, turquoise blue beaches, dance, music and celebrations, is already getting me in the groove. Below are some pictures from Pinterest that will leave you craving and wanting more of these street festivities, elaborate costumes and just the tropical vibe in December to bring in the New Year. Awesome!

Image courtesy: Pinterest

Junkanoo Festival, Nassau, Bahamas 

I would love to know which one is your favorite festival. Which will be your pick for a near future?  

Until the next trip

- Rakshita

Also, check out GypsyFly Blog for travel reads from fellow Gypsies. 

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{ Radisson Blu Resort & Spa Alibaug } – Spa Review

Continued from the previous post. 

Spa at the Radisson Blu, Alibaug resort is called Mandara Spa. A colleague and I did a booking at the spa for leg and foot message and head, neck and shoulder message respectively. We wanted it to be a rewinding session after a long day at presentations, so we booked the evening slot.

To start with, it started at not such a pleasant note. It didn’t smell of SPA. What happened to a spa appealing tothe olfactory nerve?

Walkway to Mandara spa

Directions at Radisson Blu Resort

Water at Radisson Blu Resort

Next, my colleague wanted a male masseuse for her foot message, but in spite of confirming her, Spa allotted her a female masseuse (no big issue). Then, in the message room, the cloth on the head rest smelled foul.

Spa at Radisson Blu Resort

Further, the masseuse was rude and despite of constant request, pressure stayed inconsistent and varied from extremely light to intense and almost unbearable (maybe, she is in training). What’s next? My masseuse went for a rigorous head message, which felt more like a balding session than a relaxing session (beginning of a nightmare!)  

Details at Radisson Blu Resort and Spa

Later: She applied body lotion on my ‘FACE’ for the face message. I should be thankful for I was given a free face message, but a girl got to complain when it starts to itch and burn.  {Tip: if you got to give something complimentary, make sure that if it’s not helpful, it at least shouldn’t be detrimental}



Radisson Blu Resort and Spa

{Caution: Free things are not good, exercise caution when getting lured into availing ‘that’ extra service}

To top it all, after 5 minutes of sauna, steamer goes off and a masseuse shouts weather we will take long. Seriously! She turned it back on, on my request but I was completely turned off and was pushed to an edge by now. On complaining at the reception, they did waive off the charges, but it sure wasn't enough to keep me from writing about the bad experience we had.

Radisson Blu Resort and Spa

Do share if you also had any such experiences. 

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7 keeps for winter travel - { China Calling }

November is almost here, do you have any trips planned this winter? Ski or maybe a simple snow play somewhere in the highlands?

I am planning to travel this winter, I haven’t yet zeroed down on the destination yet, but China is on my radar. Considering its incredibly low temperatures during Dec – Jan time, it’s an ambitious decision. So if at all I zero down on it, I’d prefer to have all my basics in place. I always try to travel light (after all, it’s me who has to carry and drag all the weight around), but here are the must haves that I’ve decided to carry no matter how heavy my bags get.

Here goes the list of my 7 items for winter travel:

1.     Layer, layer, layer: Carry good thermal wear and lots of basics for layering. It works best and can save you even in the harshest of winters. {Firsthand experience: During one of the trips to Europe, I visited Mt. Titilis. As stupid as it might sound, I took out all my woolen wear to reduce baggage weight and didn’t have even a single sweater, woolen jacket or a scarf. To avoid the chill of the Alps from running down my spine to every bone of my body, all I did was layer up in my basics. I wore T-shirts one on top of another and topped off with a cotton blazer. Popped a couple of cod liver oil capsules and I was all fit and active like an elf on the North Pole.}

Layering - Winter Fashion

first and third from left: DKNY Fall RTW 2013 collection & Phillip Lim Fall RTW 2013 | Image courtesy: Style.com

Second and last images are from Pinterest. 

2. Big fat jackets: Leather jackets with fur lining go a long way to keep you all warmed up. For places like Beijing, a down coat can come in handy as a protection against the chilliness. 

Big Fat Jackets - Winter Fashion

Left and center images are from Pinterest 

Right most Image from 10 Crosby Derek Lam Fall RTW 2013 collection| Image courtesy: Style.com

3.       Slouchy woolen sweater with a belt: It’s so chic, comfortable and warm even without a jacket. Try on some cashmere wool and you shall not need a bonfire.

Slouchy Sweaters - Winter Fashion

Left: Alexander Wang Fall 2013 collection| Image courtesy: Style.com'  

Center and right images are from Pinterest. 

4.       A good trench: One trench coat can go a long way to save life and yet look chic. I am already digging these short pastel colored trench coats, though I wonder how warm will these be.

Pastel colored Trench Coats

Image courtesy: Pinterest

Check out this gorgeous user generated collage of trench coats http://artofthetrench.com/ on an app by Burberry? 

Art of Trench

5. Shoes: I am not a big fan of Uggs however I know many, who look equally stunning in Uggs as they look in 6 inch heels. I’d rather stick with comfortable, yet smart selection of calf length boots from the likes of Hush Puppies and Steve Madden, a great option to go with jeans, trench coats and dresses alike.

Winter Boots - Hush Puppies and Steve Madden

6. Accessories: Scarves, woolen socks, leg warmers, gloves and caps. I love woolen nech rings/warmers, got one last winter from Germany. They feel and look great and are a must have this winter on any trip to the winter lands.

Winter Accessories

Image courtesy: Pinterest

All indivisual images are on my Pinterest board: {Winter Fashion} 

7. And a good pairs of denims. No trip with complete without JEANS

Apart from all the fashion and clothing must haves during the winter travel, I have listed a few to do things below. Hope you find them handy and helpful, let me know your thoughts either way.

-     No matter how cold, always carry a water bottle to keep you hydrated

-     Moisturizer and sunscreen to avoid chapped, dry skin and sunburns

-     Explore the winter food. I am not sure if I’ll get any vegetarian food options in china, so if I don’t get anything fancy, I’ll try to stick with tea and hot clear soups with vegetables + some fried eggs on a slice of bread to go with it.

-     A comfortable small cross body sling bag (not a tote) with sufficient space, to keep cash, travelers checks, passport and camera.

-     Keep a woolen scarf handy. Instead of keeping it in a carry bag, I prefer keeping it close to me, tied snuggly on my sling bag.

-    For evenings carry a warm LBD in the length that suits, team it up with leggings, maybe a statement necklace, good pair of 4 inch heels and a trench coat to finish off the look.

-     Be warm inside J If possible have two capsules every morning to avoid any and all cold problems, sneezing, whizzing and going crazy on a trip that you planned to enjoy. If you eat sea food, salmon is a great option that will keep you cozy in winters.

Cod liver oil capsules

Check out all these indivisual images on my Pinterest board: {Winter Fashion} 

Until the next trip

- Rakshita

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Project I :: {On an Introspecting Trip}

They say, don’t use “I”, they ask me to get away from it. Do hell with all of you! My world does begin with an “I”.

“I” :: Possibly the simplest word with most complex usage. It’s blamed for all the evil in the world but is rarely used to evaluate self-worth.

{Rant} Have you ever noticed that some of the best or stupid or risky ideas come at 2 – 4am in the morning? Considering, of course, you spent all the time before that sitting in front of the idiot box and just staring at one channel waiting to fall asleep? It’s 3.33 am (I didn’t make that up) on 5^th Oct’13. I reached home today (mum’s place) after a light Friday at work followed by a meeting with friend. The Mother is sleeping next to me while I lay on my tummy to write this on a Microsoft Word (which I actively started using a little over 10 years back in 2003) doc named Project I. Anyhow, back to the topic:

What are we talking about “I” and why is it important? I am going to keep it very contextual, philosophical and a little personal because it’s about “I”. Wake up people! 

During today’s midnight session of day dreaming, actually night dreaming with eyes wide open, I was thinking about all that I can do with life. Just like the life of many others (in the most clichéd way of saying) my life has been a roller coaster ride. And past for me, is something that doesn’t bring much good, except some brilliant insights to be carried forward, stability in the thought process (without discounting on the capability of erratic actions and random decisions), knowledge of the many ways to potentially screw up an entire life and a word of caution to avoid these in the coming future. The most important thing past teaches is, to fall, muster up all the courage, stand  and walk, walk tall with your head held just a little higher than before, with clear sight of the ground below.

I pity those, who haven’t fallen in life, as they never got a chance to rise higher than before.

{Rant} On an unrelated note: I hate the guys with soft hands; I mean what’s up with you people; go easy on moisturizer and go back to doing some heavy duty lifting.

Guilty as charged. I love “I”; I am a self-loving, self-obsessed narcissist who despite hyper critical nature comes across as a confident lady with a hint (maybe a little more) absurd yet brilliant sense of humor. There! Narcissism spotted right there. I would also like to admit that I am guilty of not wallowing in self-pity and self-loath. 

P.S: Loving yourself doesn't discount your love for others, it just adds to it. 

Why am I, the way I am?

I am a small town girl, born in the city called Moradabad to a business family. All say I’ve got my father’s genes with tons of ambition and entrepreneurial traits. Thanks to my genes (or no thanks), I looked and dreamt different when compared with my siblings. While all my cousins had brilliant and fair complexion, I was an Ugly Duckling with a pale complexion; while their dads took them out for vacations, my dad was busy minting money; while they dreamt of inheriting export businesses or getting married into stinking rich families who would load them with diamonds, I dreamt of starting my own company; while they dreamt of bearing babies, I dreamt of going to NIFT; while they were pretty young things, I was a persistent rebel. 

I was different and I am different.

Till early 20s, I was living in a livable, yet my world, in the world where dreams still had sparks. For 22 odd years, I believed I could fly (how stupid of me?), when suddenly, on one fine day I woke up to clipped wings; wings clipped from so deep within, that the pain went numb. I could no longer fly; overnight all my dreams were stamped invalid. Like a piece of raw leather, I was ripped apart from my soul, cut, torn, beaten, dried in the sun, and then polished for the world. I was in a fancier place; I was in US, but had no one to validate my “I”.

I lost myself, I was no longer I.

I was lost for almost 3 big years, when one fine day, a mystical power reminded me of what my soul looked like, reminded me of the values I believed in and stood for. I realized that I wasn’t happy and all I did was, make good with the world, I was conforming and I was trying to be something I was not. I was chasing worthlessness of empty emotions and society values that got me no good instead they took away everything including my identity, my sense of belongingness, my hope, my passion, my family and most important, they took away my wings. You talk about the moment of self-realization?

That was my moment of self-realization, I was away from “I” for way too long and I was miserable.

And that was the moment when I got my soul back, I came back home, I came back to my people, I came back to hugs, I came back to being allowed to make mistakes, to demand, to dream, to smile and to talk without thinking twice about every single word that came out of my mouth. I was now free to try and fly again, I came back home. It was probably the toughest decision ever and I was scared to the core as I had no belief left in me. But the only thing that gave me courage was knowledge that nothing could be any worse. The worst was over.  

Where do I stand now? I am fierce now and I got nothing to lose no more. On second thoughts, I am in a happy place now, I am content with what I have, place I belong to, friends I gossip with and the guy I am in love with and with whom I hope to make tons of babies (day dreaming again). Is this is what “Zen” is? It sure does sound like it.

To me the most basic tool of survival is “I”, there is no world without “I” and there is no happiness in the world if “I” am not happy.

“I” can’t feed the world outside (bon-bon, my dog is an exception) if “I” am hungry and I can’t join in your celebrations, if “I” am miserable.

You say “I” is bad, I say, “I” is the only way to be. No matter how hard I try to make sentences without “I” it just doesn’t happen. After all, conditioning grooms you a certain way. So when all my adorable, absolutely chilled out friends say that I use “I” a lot and am self-obsessed, I agree with you completely because I am an identity, an Ugly Duckling who stood apart because of certain chances and choices in life and embraces herself for all that she has turned to become.

So yes! My world does begin with an “I” but doesn’t necessarily end at it. 

*All pictures are used for demonstration purpose only and blogger doesn't claim any right on any of the used pictures. 
©2013 Rakshita Kapoor

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