Project I :: Don’t be Hungry & Have Babies

I’ve been reading, seeing and listening a lot lately, not the fictional novels, not the latest movie flicks, not to the billboard hits, but everything that is making my heart sink an increasing inch with its each read, view and sound.

    {It's 28^th Nov’13, sometime during the day. I am wearing a soft tan leather bomber jacket and I've just finished listening to Ellen}

    {if you've decided to read this post, I request you to click on the linked text. These will link to the pieces that have influenced me to write this post and will also give you a better context of where I am coming from}

I’ve been trying to jot down my thoughts for almost two weeks now. Everytime I sat to write something, I felt so dejected with so many things that I couldn’t dare to write anything pleasant or motivational (forget it being happy) about travel. They say externalization comes after you are strong and sorted inside. I’d like to believe I am strong enough as a person, but I still feel hell guilty of wearing this chic jacket made with soft tan leather (probably the calf leather).

Call it cynicism, but everything is getting intolerably morbid around me. It depresses me when I see corruption that starts with the biggest of the politicians and ends at maybe a simple office parking, the height of consumerism starting at simplest of the house parties with overflowing alcohol and maybe ends with shopping for every possible moment of our life. I hate carbonated sodas and now the carbonated water. The dearth of living space that starts with matchbox sized apartments and ends at people sleeping under flyovers in chilling winters, the overflowing flowing money that makes the dream of big fat weddings possible but doesn’t provide even a days’ meal to so many hungry souls, is utterly troublesome to me.

I love multinationals, my travel paycheck comes from there, but I miss that ‘mitti ki kushboo’ (Soil’s smell) that used to tickle my nose during rainy season. I now don’t even realize when it’s raining outside as I am mostly busy with my head dug in tiny screen staring at my face. And even if I do sense rain, the smell of it is intoxicated with smoke and pollutants. I miss the desi, super soft touch of cotton dhoti that my Nani used to wear and the taste of the pickle she used to make. Everything here is factory produced and made for the mass consumption. But as matter of the fact remains, we are still hungry.

From extensive chicken farming, to the birds ingesting our plastic and metal waste,to animals being skinned (skinned live) for fur by the fanciest of brands for our warmth, everything is resulting to the death of everything around except of ours as we are fittest for survival.

If we are so fit why is each one of us struggling to find our identity? Why are we scaredto reveal it to the world at a fair chance of being judged and rejected? We’ve got to remember that we are supreme, we are powerful. We are the Mighty Lords who Rule the World! We do however, have the world but why are we still hungry?

We are so hungry that we are eating into each other. From facing ‘racism’ in probably the most cosmopolitan country of the world to using fellow humans in the name of comfort, we are sucking away happiness; we are sucking the freedom and the sense of smell, touch and feel all in the name of progress and development. It’s now a routine for us to hear about men on a raping spree. Listening to these stories so regularly, now feels like listening to someone’s daily routine of meat shopping. Rape has now become part of our diet.  We recover/adapt and camouflage better than a lizards tail and a chameleon; we are zombies, we are the cannibals and the vampires. But We Are Still Hungry!

Everything is making me feel guilty and angry. I feel guilty of my actions, of using stuff, being a solo passenger(and driver) of my car, using more than needed tissue papers, buying shoes and bags and hoping for those thigh high Chanel boots, seeing others waste food (most of us do it so shamelessly) and overeating (gluttony is THE curse of today’s world), for not being able to take care of those abandoned dogs, for eating the processed potatoes out of the plastic packets and drink from the Bisleri bottles and coke cans. I feel angry about the thugs, the thieves, the rapists, the claimed protectors and leaders of the world and a lot of times for being born as a girl.

I am neither a preacher not a teacher; I am just an observer who is sharing what’s affecting her. Maybe I’ve become more sensitive lately, maybe I am an erratic cynical, maybe my monthly cycle is around the corner or maybe I am one of the stupid, senseless souls who are trying to show the picture of the world as it actually stands without all the glitz, glamour and brands.

Ques: So what’s next?

Ans: I don’t know.

I don’t know how I can make the situation better, I don’t know how I can undo and stop all this that gives me chills, all I know is that I am hurting and hurting very bad. So if nothing else, at least I am making some self- rectifications that help me ease some part of my guilt by not adding to the poison and the pain.

They say every coin has two sides and off late I am just witnessing the dirtier one. Has anybody seen a better version of the world? Please do show and share it with me as I am in need of some hope.

This post is written in an effort and a hope (maybe it’s all in vain) that we make some effort which leaves us and this stupid place called earth a little green, safe and less painful so that we can have babies without a guilt filled and wrenched heart. Remember! We are Supreme! We are powerful! And we can do verywell without all this Hunger! After all, we will be passing this world on to our babies.

{I know I’ll be butt of many jokes. Many analogies and hypothesis will be drawn by both strangers and dear friends, but I choose to sound stupid and absurd in just a small hope that of many reading, ignoring or laughing at this post, just one or two of you are stupid enough to take me seriously and feel the same guilt. A guilt that pushes them to make a little effort to think and act a little differently and have guts to say out loud that YOU CARE! You care for your world, for the fellow humans and for the remaing bunch of freaking animals and plants.}

Until Later,

Rakshita

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